Find something you can turn up for twice
Say you move to Gorey. You know a couple of lads at work, your weekends fill up and three months disappear. Meeting somebody once at a big night out might go well, but what brings you back into the same room? Pick one thing that already fits your week. A local walk, a club run or helping at a community event gives you a second meeting without having to engineer it.
Make the first conversation small
Start with something you actually want to know. “Have you done this route before?” is an easier opener than asking someone to explain their life. Learn one name. If he mentions that his daughter has a match, remember enough to ask how it went next time. You can have a decent morning even when nobody swaps numbers.
Give the invitation a time and place
“We should get out again” asks the other man to do all the planning. Try “I’m walking on Saturday at ten. Fancy coming?” A clear invite is easier to accept and easier to decline. If shift work or family commitments get in the way, leave room for him to suggest another date.
Let consistency do some of the work
Some men want company on a trail and nothing more. Others would appreciate a coffee afterwards but assume everyone is heading home. Ask once and pay attention to the answer. See what is coming up or find out how our walks work. You can come alone and choose how involved you want to get.
From The Brotherhood Community, County Wexford. All field guides.